25 Random Things

I did this on facebook and thought it would make a good post. If you read this then leave your blog address in the comment area and list your own 25 random things- I'd love to know more about you too! I thought I couldn't do it but once I got started it was fun!


Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I don't think I'll be able to do 25 of these things.

2. I always wanted to have 6 or 7 kids, until I went through pregnancy- now I love the number 3.

3. I took a 90 minute ferry ride to Canada with my niece, Linzy, and we were surrounded by "Red Hat Ladies"...it completely freaked me out- there were about 75 of them- all in red and red hats!

4. I wonder sometimes if I have any half-brothers or sisters out in the world somewhere...my father was a wanderer.

5. I'm completely addicted to raw sushi- thanks Amy!! ...and I got my son to love it too! Reed will steal it off my plate when I'm not looking.

6. I keep in touch with all my old boyfriends.

7. I didn't know how to really love someone until I was really, truly loved- that kind of love hurt.

8. One of the things that tips me over the edge is people who drop their ill-behaving children off at birthday parties.

9. I'm the middle child of 5, my older sister and brother were 14 1/2 and 12 when I was born. So throughout my family's changes I've been: the baby, middle child, the oldest and then finally after the second marriage- #9.

10. My kids and I have a goal to visit every state in the continental US- we've checked off: Georgia, Alabama, Florida, Tennessee, Kentucky, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, South Carolina, North Carolina, Virginia, Maryland, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Colorado, Delaware, & Washington. This spring we'll add: Massachusetts, Rhode Island & Connecticut to the list. Only 26 more to go!

11. My maid-of-honor was my best friend from Georgia Southern and in turn I was her matron-of-honor, we had our first babies, our sons, 3 months apart. It was perfect. I haven't heard from her in 9 years.

12. All my life I told myself that I would not be happy if the man I married was shorter than me, if he was smaller than me in the waist and if his mother hated me- I was completely wrong. Did you hear that? I admitted to being wrong!!

13. I rarely admit when I'm wrong.

14. I've secretly wanted to be a lawyer.

15. I adore my relationship with my heavenly parents- it's a personal joy of mine.

16. When I turned 30, a light switch went on- I don't have to deal with certain kind of "crap" anymore. It kept going over and over in my head- "I'm friekin' 30 years old- I'm done with all that!"

17. The worst things you can do for the ones you love are the things they could and should do for themselves. -John Wooden

18. When I'm angry about something....I clean.

19. My kids know that I can't stand it when my DVDs aren't in alphabetical order. We have over 300 and all three of them know where they go.

20. The thing that hurts me the most is when people disappoint my kids- that breaks my heart.

21. I fold sheets really well. My husband, who managed the bedding dept. at Macy's even thinks so. King sized, fitted- you name it. I can fold it into a perfect square!

22. I'm afraid of heights but I would love to go sky-diving.

23. I got really pissed the day they took "Free Fall" down at Six Flags. That was the first ride I ever went on at 11- and the only reason I did was because my 8 year old sister, Emily, was going on it and I didn't want to look chicken.

24. I drove from Salt Lake City, UT to Atlanta, GA alone when I was 19. It took me 3 1/2 days and I was delirious most of the way because I had no cd player, no phone, only money for gas and a car that wouldn't go over 55 mph. Now I can only drive about 2 hours at a time or I get flashbacks.

25. I didn't know what happiness was until I met Bryan.

Fair Trade Products

For those of my friends and family who LOVE Starbucks-

The Starbucks corporation has agreed to offer fair trade coffee in all their stores, if a customer asks for it. Many stores don't actually brew it unless someone specifically asks for it. The next time you visit Starbucks, ask for their Fair Trade blend, which is called Cafe Estima. You'll be helping to prevent human trafficking in the coffee industry and showing Starbucks that their customers value fair trade products.

Consumer demand for cheap goods and services motivates traffickers to enslave workers to pick our fruit, make our clothing, clean our hotel rooms, serve our food and do a number of other tasks. By buying fair trade goods, you support companies and products which ensure a living wage for the producers and humane working conditions. For more information on how you can stop human trafficking:

http://humantrafficking.change.org/blog/view/10_things_you_can_do_to_fight_human_trafficking

Workout Journal #1

So, it's official..I'm ready to loose the last 15 lbs. that have haunted me the past 7 years. Well, really just the past 3 years. In total I wanted to loose..wait, I'm getting my calculator out- 35 lbs. That's how much I had left over from baby Lara in 2002. I lost 25 of those pounds before I went to Paris in 2006.

That was an awesome motivator by the way- I knew I was going to be looking at those pictures forever and I knew I didn't want to look the way I did. When Emily called me and told me that the trip was on and to go get my passport....I did...and came home from the post office and got on the treadmill. It was so gratifying. Just before the trip I went to buy some new clothes. I was looking through the racks with my girls when a saleswoman, who was rushing past and seemed slightly annoyed, looked me up and down and said, "Ma'am! You're in the wrong department. You need to shop over there." And thrust her finger toward the other side of the store demanding my obedience. Now, for those of you who know me well, this type of communication does NOT work well with me. Just as something terribly rude was about to spill forth from my lips- I realized- she was pointing me out of the 'plus-size woman' side to the 'misses' side of the store. All that came out of my mouth was an unbelievable, "Really? Thank you!". The clerk's back was already facing me and I couldn't believe I'd done it. Me. The girl who hides candy bars in her home. Who's favorite past-time is not rock climbing or hiking..it's watching movies or reading a book. I HATE to exercise....I've never felt the high that people are always talking about. I could sleep 12 hours a day if someone let me. Regardless, I went and got my pre-pregnancy size capris off the rack and headed to the fitting room. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I started crying in Old Navy. My girls were staring at me like I was nuts. Tears and smiles....I couldn't have been more proud of myself.

So, now I'm here again. Ready to conquer my insecurities about food, happiness, loneliness and self-doubt. I've put back on about- wait, calculator again, 7 of those 25 lbs. and I'm aiming to take off 17.

It's so hard to plan meals for your family and feed picking children (and a picky husband) when you're trying to loose weight. I feel guilty for taking time to myself and insisting on being left alone so I can work out. I stay at home full time- should my house be spotless before I workout? Should all the laundry be done? These are the things that go through my head and sometimes keep me off my weight-loss track. Did I mention that I homeschool all 3 of my kids and my husband travels out of state every other week?

How do you carve out time for yourself? How do you keep motivated when after two weeks you don't see any more weight loss? What stops you from meeting your goal? I'm going to log in this workout journal once a week. Good luck to me.

Is there really such a thing? Really? A Typical Mormon Woman?

I love it when I'm feeling something complicated and I find someone wonderful who has written it all out eloquently for me to pass on:) I know these struggles are not my own alone. Enjoy!


Requiem for a Typical Mormon Woman

Lisa Ray Turner, 1993

Rio Rancho, New Mexico



She is a Molly Mormon. Patty Perfect. The Typical Mormon Woman. Different names for the same woman. She sits quietly in sacrament meeting, dispensing Cheerios and quiet books with dignity. She teaches inspiring, non-controversial Relief Society lessons. She wears sensible shoes and bears a striking resemblance to June Cleaver. She’s always ready with whole wheat bread for the needy. She’s our role model, as quintessentially Mormon as the Golden Plates.

Does the Typical Mormon Woman sound familiar? She did to me. I felt like I was surrounded by hundreds of them every week at church. They talked with sugar-coated tongues. They listened to lessons (while smiling) and politely agreed with every word. They said things like, “Sister Smith has given such a beautiful lesson” when I, who had heard the same lesson, was thinking, “That was a trite, irritating lesson.” They spoke in the “Relief Society voice.” Breathy, soft-spoken, and gently.

These women even looked perfect. They wore handmade, feminine dresses and had fluffy hair. Their make-up was neither austere nor over-done, but—you guessed it—perfect! I was certain their homes were always immaculate. I couldn’t imagine them blasting through their living rooms in cleaning frenzies minutes before their visiting teachers arrived. I, on the other hand, panicked if anyone didn’t make an appointment a week in advance—that’s how long it took to get my house to look like their houses.

I wondered what was wrong with me. Why didn’t I get excited over the Cute Things we made in homemaking meetings? Why did many talks in church perturb me? Why did I question issues they took as gospel (pun intended)?

While trying to answer these questions, I realized I couldn’t cram myself into a mold that did not fit. I embarked on my own personal program of glasnost. I stopped trying to be a typical Mormon woman. In the process, I made some delightful discoveries. It’s okay to prefer books to embroidery patterns. It’s not a commandment to grind your own wheat. Temple recommends are given to those of us with messy houses and loud, sassy voices. I can claim, as my own, unconventional opinions. I learned—ever so gingerly—to separate the gospel from the Church.

I wondered whether other women felt like I did. I started to talk—and listen—to women in the Church. Really talk. No more, “Good morning, Sister Jones. That jello salad that you made for homemaking was sure delicious.” I wanted to know Typical Mormon Women. What were their aspirations and feelings? How did they feel about taboo subjects like polygamy? Did they yell at their kids? I decided to find out.

As I got to know the women of my ward, I heard one phrase over and over: “I’m not the typical Mormon woman, but…” Sometimes I wasn’t surprised by this admission. But frequently, I’d assumed I was talking to the gold standard of Mormon womanhood and was chocked that she considered herself atypical. If nobody would admit to being a typical Mormon woman, where was she? I thought I’d found her when I spoke with a woman who personified everything in the Relief Society manual—in fact, every manual in the Church. She was a beautiful woman who often espoused the values of staying close to the hearth and supporting priesthood-holding husbands. She had seven children and a beautiful home. She was nice—genuinely, honestly kind, not that cloying artificial niceness that gives nightmares to a diabetic. And, the final clincher, she was smart, knowledgeable about world events, and involved in the community. She was what we were all trying to be.

To my astonishment, she said, “Well, you know, I’m certainly not the typical Mormon woman, but…” My mouth dropped to my knees. If she was not a Typcial Mormon Woman, there were none. Not in Michigan, New York, California, Europe, or Asia. Even dare I say it, not in Utah! The Typical Mormon Woman was dead. I grieved her loss. I had gotten used to her. She was like a pair of tight shoes: at first they pinch and hurt, but eventually they become comfortable, even if they aren’t a perfect fit. Now to realize that she never existed in the first place…well, this revelation opened a whole new world. Could it be that Mormon women were truly diverse? I had often wondered whether diversity within Mormonism was possible. In every ward I’d attended, diversity among women was met with suspicion. Labels were freely attached. Inactive. Working mother. Liberal. Single. Childless. Oddly, some of the labels that were merely descriptors carried with them negative connotations. I pictured an assembly line of smiling, puffy-haired matrons. Anyone who was different was snatched off the line and tossed aside. We all smiled our way down the assembly line. We all thought that we had to be whole wheat mothers.

Of course, struggling with assembly-line roles is not limited to Mormon culture. Women’s magazines tell us that “working mothers” and “stay-at-home mothers” have declared war on each other. At-home moms swirls angry epithets at job-laden mothers: “Why did you have children if you were going to have someone else raise them?” The wage-earning mothers pompously declare, “How can you be fulfilled when you spend your days doing laundry?” Single women join the fray by worrying about loneliness, AIDS and their biological time clocks. Their married counterparts envy the freedom and growth that single status affords.

Most Mormon women are not yet at this warring stage. Our quest for identity is too new. We’re just starting to broaden our experiences. We’re just beginning to accept the realities of the 90’s. Many mothers work outside the home. All women will not marry. All women will not be mothers. Every woman is not June Cleaver. Diversity is rearing its head, and we’re deciding if we will fight it or welcome it. Most of us our still in the negotiating stage. I hope that we don’t move on to sanctions and war. For too long, we’ve used the Ideal Mormon Woman not as a role model but as a club to beat ourselves with. Attitudes have not changed significantly since 1987 when a study of active Mormon women indicated that two-thirds felt overwhelmed and pressured to excel in many different areas.*

If we are too anxious and overwhelmed, our relationships with each other suffer. Sisterhood fizzles in such a volatile pressure-cooker. Our friendships become counterfeit. Healthy, give-and-take connections are not possible if we always wear our Sunday faces, afraid our real selves are unacceptable. Sisterhood will elude our grasp if we continue to pursue the fictitious Molly Mormon prototype. We will never be as spiritual, knowledgeable, or kind as this mythical creature—just as horses will never be unicorns. The Typical Mormon Woman, much like the unicorn, is one-dimensional. Happily, Real Mormon Women are not. We are blessed with unique gifts and strengths, as well as idiosyncrasies and weaknesses. Thank goodness! Diversity enriches and deepens our bonds. Sisterhood happens when we permit each other to be human.

So, let’s allow the Typical Mormon Woman to depart in peace. Give her a eulogy and let her go. We don’t need her any more! We have living, breathing, fallible women to take her place. We can move to a higher plateau of understanding and tear down the fences of artificiality. We won’t turn our heads from women suffering with social problems that we will now admit exist in Mormonism. We won’t raise our eyebrows when an unorthodox opinion is stated. We won’t christen each other with petty labels or expect everyone to be our clone. We’ll take a giant leap toward sincere, sweet sisterhood.

Good-bye, Typical Mormon Woman. We’re secure without you. Go rest. We all know you deserve it.


* Study done by Dan Jones and Associates among LDS women who were in Provo, Utah, between August 18-21, 1987, to attend BYU Education Week.

Our Ski Trip

Our Christmas present this year from Bryan's dad was a ski trip to Gatlingburg, TN together with Bryan's brother, Tommy & his family. It was a total surprise to the kids until the night before we left. It was so hard to keep it a secret! We had a fabulous time- we couldn't have done it better. None of us have ever skied before...and it showed:) We headed off to ski school and we were confident...our ski instructor however...asked us not to get poles just yet. He said we had enough to worry about without adding poles to the mix:) We can't wait to get back up on those slopes again. We went to a show at the Dixie Stampede where they had a live nativity and winter show...and no silverware to eat your lunch with- cornish game hen, pork loin, potato half, vegetable soup, corn-on-the-cob, biscuit & apple turnover....yum, yum, yum! I hope ya'll had a blessed Christmas- the best gift we got? Spending time and making amazing memories with those we love. Best wishes for a wonderful New Year to you all!

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Thanksgiving Day

I hope ya'll had as wonderful a Thanksgiving Day as we did. We relaxed at home and played parade bingo then it's off to eat with the Mooneys. Enjoy the pictures! And send us pictures of your holiday!

Make a Smilebox scrapbook

Kickin' it old school

These made me smile.....1994! Time flies!